


turd gym

by soraru



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 2016 memes, 3rd gym, Chatting & Messaging, Gen, M/M, Textfic, Third Gym (Haikyuu!!), breaking the fouth wall, chatfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-28
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-08-27 12:36:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8401993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soraru/pseuds/soraru
Summary: emo mode: so whats ur fav shoujo anime?????? megane-chan: Shrek.





	1. !!!

**Author's Note:**

> kay so this is my first ever fic and yE it had to be a chatfic 
> 
> im not funny tho so oops

 

 

 

[11:48pm]

 

_Hoothoot created the group "turd gym"_

 

_Hoothoot added nyan cat, dinosaur, and goodbye to the group chat_

 

 

nyan cat: oyaoyaoya ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

 

 

Hoothoot: HEYHEY HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OVO 

 

 

goodbye: Oh no why . and is that supposed to be an owl. wh y

 

 

Hoothoot: GROUP CHAT FOR THE 3RD GYM SQUAD!!!!!!!!! !!1!1!

 

dinosaur: I'm not a turd bye.

 

_dinosaur left the group chat_

 

 

goodbye: Same.

 

 

_goodbye left the group chat_

 

 

_nyan cat added dinosaur and goodbye to the group chat_

 

 

Hoothoot: u can run

 

 

nyan cat: but u cant hide

 

 

_dinosaur left the group chat_

 

 

_nyan cat added dinosaur to the group chat_

 

 

_dinosaur left the group chat_

 

 

_nyan cat added dinosaur to the group chat_

 

 

dinosaur: ugh

 

 

goodbye: ^

 

 

Hoothoot: :( why

 

 

dinosaur: because you're annoying

 

 

goodbye: ^

 

 

Hoothoot: sO MEAN TSUKKI iM HURT AND WOUNDED

 

 

dinosaur: see? annoying

 

 

nyan cat: stop hurting my bro or else

 

 

dinosaur: or else what? You'll confiscate my dinosaurs?

 

 

nyan cat: i'll confiscate your dinosaurs 

 

dinosaur: excuse you. 

 

nyan cat: ur excoosed

 

dinosaur: listen here you piece of cat droppings, 

 

dinosaur: you do not. ever. do that to my dinosaurs, alright?

 

nyan cat: pffffffff

 

goodbye: Im

 

dinosaur: I want to go over to the other side of the court rn and tear you to shreds but if it's for the sake of the safety of my dinosaurs then fine.

 

nyan cat: well if you promise you won't leave then ok fine i wont :)

 

 

goodbye: goodbye

 

_goodbye left the group chat_

_Hoothoot  added goodbye to the group chat_

 

 

Hoothoot: U CAN RUN BUT U CNT HIDE (*◎ｖ◎*) 

 

 

goodbye: (wake me up inside wake me up inside save me pls)

 

 

Hoothoot: AKAAASHII

 

goodbye: I'm too tired to deal with this right now...

 

 

[6:23am]

 

 

_dinosaur  added smol giant to the group chat_

 

 

dinosaur: OUO) HELLO!

 

 

Hoothoot: ur not tsukki

 

 

nyan cat: hinata?

 

 

dinosaur: gOOdmoRninG kUROO-snepaifn boKughovj-snepajdjfnalvjjs tfjank yvfou fpur allpowpng mwe tp oractice with ypou lasr nifgtjaksjshdkfncndjdekeehdjfj

 

 

dinosaur: gtfo hinata

 

 

smol giant: GuuuuWAAAAH stingySHIMa

 

 

nyan cat: lmao

 

 

goodbye: sigh

 

 

nyan cat: don't you guys have a match against nekoma

 

 

goodbye: don't you guys have a match against fukurodani

 

 

nyan cat: ...

 

 

nyan cat: kay mom ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

 

[7:04pm]

 

  
_nyan cat added tol ace to the_ group chat

 

_nyan cat changed tol ace's nickname to tol (not) ace_

 

_tol (not) ace changed their nickname to tol ace_

 

_nyan cat changed tol ace's nickname to tol (not) ace_

 

nyan cat: LEV YOU'RE NOT THE ACE STOP

 

_tol (not) ace changed their nickname to tol cat_

 

tol cat: are you happy now senpai

 

 

 

nyan cat: hell yea i am riefu

 

smol giant: LEV!!!!! OuO

 

tol cat: Hinata!!!!!!!!!!!! OUO

 

dinosaur: you're!!!!!! so!!!!!! annoying!!!!!!!! shut!!!!!!! the!!!!!!! fuck!!!!!!! up!!!!!!!

 

goodbye: Tsukishima-kun

 

dinosaur: what

 

goodbye: Please Lev the children alone. 

 

nyan cat: oh my ogd

 

dinosaur: you did not just do that

 

goodbye: but i did

 

nyan cat: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

 

nyan cat: ARE YOU TRYIGNTO BE FUNNY

 

nyan cat: AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA 

 

goodbye: Shut up.

 

nyan cat: ok stop

 

goodbye: Okay

 

nyan cat: where's bok

 

goodbye: dead

 

nyan cat: wHY

 

dinosaur: lmao

 

smol giant: nnNNnnOOOOOOO IS HE OKAY ; n; Is mY DAD OKAY 

 

goodbye: I killed him.

 

nyan cat: why would you kill my bro 

 

goodbye: He stole my onigiri. 

 

nyan cat: oh. that's reasonable ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

 

goodbye: I guess

 

goodbye: so i did what had to be done

 

dinosaur: ew

 

goodbye: yeah

 

tol cat: guys help my i lost my doggo

 

tol cat: i mean my mom did

 

nyan cat: wat

 

nyan cat: u have a doge

 

tol cat: ye OUO

 

nyan cat: tRAITOR

 

tol cat: wahT DID I DO

 

nyan cat: WE

 

goodbye: --'re like the blood in our veins

 

nyan cat: ARE CATS WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT YOU DISRESPECT OUR SCHOOL 'NEKOMA'

 

tol cat: but i grew up with doge i cant abandon him he was my first ever friend

 

dinosaur: you have friends? Wow!!!!!

 

nyan cat: if his name's doge i stg

 

tol cat: well his name was barney at first but i decided i liked doge better

 

nyan cat: lmao ok fine im lettjnf u off the hook just this once bec of his name

 

goodbye: do it.... for the memes.

 

nyan cat: are you trying to be funny

 

goodbye: no

 

Hoothoot: GUESS HOO'S BACK 

 

  
_goodbye  left the_ group chat

 

Hoothoot: I HAVE SURVIVED

 

dinosaur: wtf happened anyway

 

Hoothoot: nothin i was just tied to a tree for... tree hours

 

nyan cat: BRO ur pun is

 

Hoothoot: spuntaneous!!21!

 

dinosaur: i stg you don't even know what that means

 

nyan cat: brokUt iM GNONNA MERRY YOU

 

dinosaur: #StopThePuns2k16

 

Hoothoot: AW BRO I LOAF YOU <333

 

smol giant: O.o

 

nyan cat: bRO I BROLOVE BROYOU BROTOO

 

dinosaur: what the fuck that doesn't even make any sense

 

_smol giant added goodbye to the group chat_

 

goodbye: what .

 

smol giant: akaashi-senpai! bokuto-senpai and kuroo-senpai are getting married!

 

_goodbye left the group chat_

 

dinosaur: ew 

 

Hoothoot: aw cmon Tsukki

 

nyan cat: you're just jealous of me and my bokuhose

 

 

nyan cat: shit

 

nyan cat: *bokuhoe

 

Hoothoot: bro.... i never knew thought of me as your nose 

 

Hoothoot: shit

 

Hoothoot: hose

 

dinosaur: ya'll need a proper keyboatd

 

dinosaur: shit

 

dinosaur: *keynoard

 

dinosaur: *keyboard

 

dinosaur: kms

 

_dinosaur added goodbye to the group chat_

goodbye: tsukishima i trusted you.

 

smol giant: never trust Stingyshima!!!!!!!!!!!!!  >:( he tricked me 28 times already!!!!1! >:( >:(

 

Hoothoot: aaAAAaaaNNNYYYYWWAAAAYYYYYY

 

nyan cat: bAck 2 the wedding >>>>>>>

 

nyan cat: lev will you do the honor

 

dinosaur: lev, if you care about your life then don't do it.

 

tol cat: uh

 

goodbye:  _lev._

nyan cat: lev

 

tol cat: Oops! I gtg!!! I have an aces only meeting!!!!!

 

nyan cat: u LIKL PIECEV OGF SHICVT YPOUYRE NBOT EVBEN TGE ACE y o U l i A R

 

dinosaur: it's wrong to lie ; (

 

Hoothoot: tsukkeY is that a sad wiNkey faec lmAo

 

dinosaur: stfu 

 

dinosaur: it is tho

 

dinosaur: still, lying is bad

 

smol giant: tsukishima y r u saying good thinfs

 

_dinosaur left the group chat_

smol giant: huwat

 

_smol giant added dinosaur to the group chat_

smol giant: tSuKinKshIMAAAaAAA

 

smol giant: tELL US yoUr stOrREY

 

nyan cat: your testimonY

 

Hoothoot: your HISTORY 

 

goodbye: you don't have to tell us if you really don't want to though. (But I'm curious as well so)

 

dinosaur: i just

 

dinosaur: when i was younger

 

dinosaur: my brother lied to me

 

dinosaur: n it hurt

 

Hoothoot: le gasp

 

[10:58pm]

 

tol cat: ya know i just realized tsukishima leaves the group in the start.

 

smol giant: wha t do y ou me an WOAHWAOH

 

tol cat: like in chatfics

 

nyan cat : LEV DONT BREAK THE FPOURTGH WALL

 

smol giant: WHEN You NoD YOUR HEAD YES BUT YOU WANNA SAY NOOOO what dO yOu mEAn

 

tol cat: hInatAaaA nO

 

dinosaur: He's just singing that because kagayama is indecisive

 

tol cat: in what way

 

dinosaur: idk i didn't want to hear it might catch their stupidity 

 

tol cat: o

 

smol giant: >:( well im sroyup imn bnot a smutty oants unlije yvoup

 

goodbye: ....smutty pants....?

 

smol giant: oH EM GEW *SMUTTY PANFS

 

smol giant: UUUWWWAAA *SMSRTUY PFJNATS

 

smol giant: *********SMRRRITR SSSSPFPAMD F U  MK 

 

tol cat: is hinata's phone oKay???!

 

smol giant: GGGHNNHHHHSKSMSHGAHK

 

_smol giant left the group chat_

nyan cat: smol giant.exe has stopped working

 

dinosaur: lmao

 

Hoothoot: whta

 

dinosaur: is this the typo club because i dont belinf here.

 

nyan cat: yeah you defs dont "belinf" here

 

dinosaur: Shut up you lanky cat.

 

nyan cat: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

 

dinosaur: You sure do love that kaomoji don't you

 

nyan cat: just like hwo much i loaf you <3 

 

dinosaur: No thx

 

_goodbye changed their nickname  to why_

why: are you like this 

 

dinosaur: nice.

 

_dinosaur changed their nickname to are_

_are changed nyan cat's nickname to you_

_are changed Hoothoot's nickname to like_

_are changed tol cat's nickname to this_

_are added smol giant to the group chat_

smol giant: GuuuuWAAAAH IM BAC- wait wot o.o

 

why: not my idea

 

are: hello dumbass hinaughty

 

you: hinaUghTyY iM whEEzinG

 

like: COOL OUR NAMES ARE SO COOL!!!! I doNt get it tho

 

this: Hi im sorry i left for a while!!! Yaku-san called me!

 

smol giant: .....whaAaATs wITh tHe nAMES TSUKISHIMA YOU WANNA G-G-G-G-GO...?!!?  

 

smol giant: iwishiknewwhowaswhothough...

 

are: wish you never would find out.

 

smol giant: WAAAAAH TSUKISHMA U VWOUND ME IM HUR

 

this: asdfghjkl guysS senPais and hin and tsuk please go to sleeP now  tomorrow will be a gr8 day as we witness the almighty meat dance, hinatoh's feint, hinutty's and kogaymama's new kink--i mean quirk--i mean quick, bokuthoe kootarieo getting emo as hell, sakusa being mentioned by cool tattoos, and other shit. 

 

this: in case u were wondering what episode, it's the last part the 9th episode, the 10th, and 11th ヾ(*ΦωΦ)ﾉ

 

you: LEV. KNOW YOUR BOUNDARIES AND STOP BREAKIN THE FOURHT WALL

 

are: Even though season 3 is already here?

 

you: can u not. pls. 

 

are: Nah m8 i'm good.

 

smol giant: YAY!!!!!!! MY QUICK!!!!! SUCC SEED S!!!!!!TOMROAOR!!!!!!!!!

 

like: oooHhhh! who's bokuthoe kootarieo??????? i kin with him!!! i have an emo mode too!!!! who's he???!?! do i know him how come lev knpws him snd i dont???????

 

why: oh my god.

 

you: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

 


	2. is kagehina a food

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we were born 2 make history

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry i had 2 put smth abt yuri on ice

[12:08am]

you: so like

 

you: i came up with the best idea EVER

 

why: *worst

 

you: k im jusf gonna ignore that

 

you: lets start by fixing our names shall we

 

smol giant: ossu!

 

_you changed their nickname to churro_

 

_churro changed smol giant's nickname to kagehina_

 

_churro changed are's nickname to i just blocked ushiwaka_

 

_churro changed why's nickname to save mom_

 

_churro changed like's nickname to emo mode_

 

_churro changed this's nickname to viktor's cousin_

 

churro: better

 

i just blocked ushiwaka: i just blocked ushijima.

 

emo mode: OMG RSUKKI U WERE SO COOL LIKE AAAAA DAT FLASHBAKC AND THEN THE CROWD SCREAMJNG DAMN BOI I LOVED THAT EPISOD I KEPT WATCHIG IT EVEN THO EP 5 IS ALRDY HERE

 

save mom: ^ alternate title: "AKLSJDLSJDJSNFKSJSKALGDJD HE FLASHBACKED TO MY SPEECH IM SO HAPPY IM SCREAMING MY LUNGS OUT IM THE BEST MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER EVER!!!!!!! EVEN BETTER THAN THE NIKE GUY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAIT LEMME REWATCH IT AGAIN 4 TEH BILLIOTN TIME"

 

emo mode: HEY!!! thats not true!!!!

 

save mom: *untrue

 

 

 

churro: ANYWAY

 

churro: let's play would you ratherrrrrrr

 

i just blocked ushiwaka: worst game in BBC history 

 

emo mode: what's bbc hstory????????

 

save mom: it means bokuto bakes cakes

 

emo mode: ohhh!!!!!!

 

kagehina: ohhh!!!!!! 

 

i just blocked ushiwaka: WOW I'm 

 

i just blocked ushiwaka: high key facepalming

 

i just blocked ushiwaka: well idiots are idiots

 

kagehina: >:(

 

emo mode: >:(

 

churro: r we still gonna play

 

save mom: no we aren't going to.

 

churro: ya did i ask u for ur decision

 

save mom: Would you rather i stab you or

 

churro: nnnnno im innocent

 

churro: w8 u just said "would you rather"

 

save mom: idk it must be your imagination.

 

emo mode: bro if your a cent

 

emo mode: then im

 

emo mode: a hundred dollars ;) ;) ;)

 

 

 

 

 

 

i just blocked ushiwaka: psh nah you'd probably be a cent too

 

i just blocked: or less than aka 0 lmao

 

emo mode: #sad #sadlyf #noonecares #alone #emolife #triggered

 

save mom: ok but

 

save mom: "#triggered"? seriously???

 

emo mode: oH I SAID HWAT I SAID AGKHHASHEEEDFJAHDFJKAFSFHKJ >:( 

 

 

[3:24am]

 

viktor's cousin: CAN YOU HEAR MY HEARTBEAT

 

viktor's cousin: TIRED OF FEELING NEVER ENOGUH

 

viktor's cousin: I CLOSE MY EYES AND TELL MYSELF THAT MY DREAMS WILL COME TRU

 

viktor's cousin: THERE'LL B NO MOR DRAKNAESS WHEN Y OU BELEV IN YOURSLEF YOU AR UNSTOPPABLE

 

save mom: lyric source: animelyrics.com

 

viktor's cousin: WHerE YOUR DESTINY LIES DANCING ON THE BALDS

 

save mom: dancing on the balds, ah, yes.

 

viktor's cousin: ****blades

 

viktor's cousin: yoU SET MAH HART ON FIRRE

 

viktor's cousin: dont stOP US NOW THEM OMENT OF TRUT

 

viktor's cousin: WE WERE BORUN TO MEK HISTROUY

 

viktor's cousin: WE'LL MAKE IT HAPPEN WE'LL TURN IT AROUND

 

viktor's cousin: yES WE WERE BORN TO MAKE HISTORY

 

[3:31am]

 

churro: FCUK STOP

 

viktor's cousin: dON'T STOP US NOW THE MOMENT OF TRUTH

 

viktor's cousin: WE WETRE BRON TO MAKEMN HISTRIORY

 

viktor's cousin: WE'LL MAKE IT HAPPEN WE;LK TURN IT ARPUDN

 

viktor's cousin: YES WE WERE BORN TO MAKE HISTORRYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

 

churro: STOP.

 

[4:12am]

 

save mom: I'm actually watching it right now...

 

[4:15am]

 

viktor's cousin: VIKTOR IS MINE oK EVEN THO MY NAME HERE SAYS VIKTROS COUSN

 

[4:22am]

 

churro: k JUSF SHUT UP aND SLEEP K IM TRYNA SLEP

 

save mom: ever heard of the term "putting phone on silent" or "turning off notifications", kuroo-san?

 

churro: o shit ur rigth

 

churro: finally i ken(ma) rest in peace now.

 

save mom: rip

 

viktor's cousin: finally i can continue writinf my viktor x yuri fanfic now.

 

save mom: send me the link when you're done ;)))))

 

viktor's cousin: YE

 

[6:36am]

 

i just blocked ushiwaka: wtf

 

[7:52pm]

 

emo mode: what's a yuri on ice???????

 

save mom: you don't want to know

 

emo mode: *sAD OWL NOISES*

 

churro: *holds up mic* and here, my fellows, you can see a rare sight of a mommy owl protecting her lil owl son from dangers.

 

i just blocked ushiwaka: Kuroo Tetsurou as: the worst tourist guide in history.

 

churro: worst tourist guide in history but best tooruist guide in bed ;))))))))

 

viktor's cousin: but kuroo-senpai tahts only fanon kuroo. the real u is a fuckin chem nerd 

 

i just blocked ushiwaka: This is the first and only time I'm agreeing with Lev.

 

i just blocked ushiwaka: Also, did you just say "tooruist"

 

churro: OH JSKSHFKASHIZT *TOURIST

 

viktor's cousin: oikawa with glasses tho!

 

churro: what doEs OIKAWA hAve to do with thIs

 

churro: *oikawa

 

viktor's cousin: Oikuroo intensifies

 

churro: IT'S TIME TO STOP

 

churro: but ya OIKAWA in glasses mm

 

save mom: *oikawa

 

_viktor's cousin added brb fucking the aliens to the group chat_

brb fucking the aliens: (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

_churro removed brb fucking the aliens from the group chat_

 

churro: K NO CHANG TOPC

 

save mom: so do you like bread

 

churro: what

 

save mom: what

 

churro: i cant believe OIKAWA doesnt get lazy to copy paste kaomojis

 

save mom: *oikawa

 

_churro added brb fucking the aliens to the group chat_

brb fucking the aliens:  ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*(*❦ω❦)*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

 

save mom: ok no bye 

 

_save mom removed brb fucking the aliens from the group chat_

save mom: gross

 

churro: triigrd

 

viktor's cousin: kuroo-senp is trigg 

 

save mom: y tho

 

_viktor's cousin changed the group name to trigg_

save mom: anyway why would you add oikawa to a 3rd gym chat ,

 

churro: bc luv

 

churro: ^pls notice the sarcasm pls pls pls'

 

viktor's cousin: LE FUCKIN GASP

 

churro: NOTE THE SARCASM

viktor's cousin: SARCASM FAILED TO NOTE

 

churro: NO

 

viktor's cousin: kk this is boring now brb rewatchin yuri on ic bc yurio is so cute he has tsukkis seiyuu im

 

i just blocked ushiwaka: gay

 

viktor's cousin: u are 2

 

i just blocked ushiwaka: ok tru

 

i just blocked ushiwaka: But don't you think it's weird to like an anime character

 

save mom: tsukishima we are all anime characters.

 

i just blocked ushiwaka: O

 

emo mode: stpo it ur makeing me emotponal 

 

save mom: I'm not making you "emotponal" I'm just simply stating the truth.

 

emo mode: cUES SAD MUSIC AND SAD HOOTING NOISES

 

save mom: What's sadder is third years graduating 

 

emo mode: BRB SITTING IN CORNER AND CRYING

 

save mom: fuck ok me too shit that was sad

 

i just blocked ushiwaka: I'm 

 

i just blocked ushiwaka: wow?????

 

i just blocked ushiwaka: jfc what is wrong with everyone

 

i just blocked ushiwaka: no one is sane in this gc

 

i just blocked ushiwaka: and why is my name still i just blocked ushiwaka

 

i just blocked ushiwaka: that was like decades ago

 

_i just blocked ushiwaka changed their nickname to megane-chan_

churro: lol tsukki 

 

churro: megane-chan??? srsly???????

 

churro: fyi when u say no one is sane in this gc

 

churro: that inlcudes you

 

megane-chan: i never said i wasn't part

 

emo mode: HEY HEY HEYEYEYYYYYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHHEYYEAHYEAHEYHAYSHKAHFKSHaiufegqjklasjah

 

emo mode: iM AWESOME

 

_emo mode has left the group chat_

churro: ???????

 

megane-chan: wtf the fuck

 

[8:21pm]

 

_viktor's cousin added emo mode to the group chat_

viktor's cousin: HI

 

emo mode: HELLO

 

viktor's cousin: FROM THE

 

[8:58pm]

 

churro: LMAO

 

churro: TFW WHEN THEY DONT FINISH THE SONG

 

save mom: "that feeling when when"

 

churro: K STFU IT SOUNDS BETTER THAT WAY

 

save mom: nah

 

viktor's cousin: i came here to have a good time and im honestly feeling so attacked right now..,,,,,,,,...

 

viktor's cousin: only mm and yuri on ice can save me from this chat,,

 

churro: false

 

megane-chan: Is this a true or false question

 

save mom: i remember when i was like, young years old,,

 

megane-chan: YOUNG years OLD

 

save mom: in tests/quizzes

 

save mom: that thing--that

 

save mom: yeah

 

save mom: it'd be everywhere

 

megane-chan: And then

 

viktor's cousin: i;d 

 

churro: kiss the cook

 

save mom: what

 

viktor's cousin: OOHHHH MY SIUSTER HAD AN APRON LIKE TAHT

 

megane-chan: ew

 

viktor's cousin: YEAH SO I THREW IT AWAY EVEN THO SHE LOVED IT SM

 

megane-chan: rip apron-chan

 

viktor's cousin: ...

 

viktor's cousin: "ew" -Tsukishima Kei

 

megane-chan: how fucking dare you use my own quote against me

 

churro: tsukki how did u get ur "megane-chan" name,,,,, 

 

megane-chan: idk honestly

 

megane-chan: i think i read it in an anime

 

viktor's cousin: read it in an anime

 

viktor's cousin: FUCKIN TRIGGREFD

 

churro: ???

 

viktor's cousin: yOU DONT READ ANIME U LIL TOL

 

megane-chan: idc i type what i type.

 

megane-chan: and,,, "u lil tol"

 

megane-chan: lmao

 

emo mode: HEY HEY HEYEYYYEYYYY GUYS

 

emo mode: so whats ur fav shoujo anime?????? 

 

[9:48pm]

 

megane-chan: Shrek.

 

[10:09pm]

 

emo mode: fiuck u

 

megane-chan: OUCH! I'm wounded!!!! I guess i'll just go sit in my emo corner and cry then!!!!

 

emo mode: wtf

 

emo mode: why does that sound like someone i kno????????????

 

churro: bc

 

save mom: it's you.

 

emo mode: huwat

 

megane-chan: wtf goodbye

 

[1:01am]

 

kagehina: wait what's a kagehina?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fun to write but whenever i reread again and again to check if i made any mistakes, i start having 2nd thoughts
> 
>  
> 
> pshhh oh whale


	3. you should have come to weebratorizawa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 

 

 

[8:26am]

 

megane-chan: Seriously? "what's a kagehina?"

 

kagehina: what is it????????????

 

churro: shrimpy, even heard of google search?

 

kagehina: oh right! brb

 

churro: have fun ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

megane-chan: I can't believe it took you 3 minutes to send that.

 

churro: shhhhh it's hard to copy paste from the internet ok

 

churro: especially if u have slow wifi

 

megane-chan: Idk my wifi here is really fat.

 

churro: whats fatter though?

 

churro: ur wifi or my.... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

megane-chan: *fast

 

churro: u ruin everythig u lil tol

 

megane-chan: Aww thank you

 

viktor's cousin: kuroo-san im triggrd

 

viktor's cousin: only i can call tsukinkshima a lil tol ok

 

churro: tsukinkshima is a p nice name dont u think ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

megane-chan: fuck you 

 

save mom: Hello, I am alive.

 

churro: hi alive

 

emo mode: we're bakc!!!!

 

churro: oh? from what? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

 

emo mode: vball practice!!!

 

churro: ffs why do people keep ruining everythig im about to say

 

save mom: That's life, son.

 

megane-chan: because what you're going to say is probably something perverted 

 

megane-chan: and because you're annoying.

 

churro: maybe i should bcome a weeb like lev

 

viktor's cousin: i welcome you w open, loving arms, kuroo-san

 

viktor's cousin: come to weebratorizawa

 

churro: what does yiur school hsve

 

viktor's cousin: we have...

 

viktor's cousin: cats and hot guys ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

churro: WHERE DO I SIGN UP

 

viktor's cousin: all u have 2 do is watch boku no pico and you're in ;)

 

churro: wait ew no

 

emo mode: boku ~~to~~  no pico

 

viktor's cousin: lol then u cant join, senpie

 

viktor's cousin: if u can survive one episode of the horrendous wrath of the pico-chan nyan,

 

megane-chan: wow i never knew you knew what horrendous meant 

 

viktor's cousin: you pass the schools entrance exam thing 

 

viktor's cousin: BUT

 

viktor's cousin: if you finish the whole anime 

 

viktor's cousin: u get free scholarship 

 

viktor's cousin: and free everythjn

 

viktor's cousin: and a private meet-and-greet with pico-chan nyan ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

viktor's cousin: it's worth it, senpai 

 

megane-chan: yes it's worth it, senpai.

 

save mom: imagine it, senpai.

 

megane-chan:  a meet-and-greet 

 

save mom: with the best pico-chan nyan kyun kyun kawaii desu nyaaaah

 

megane-chan: all your pico dreams come true

 

save mom: in weebratorizawa 

 

megane-chan: i love my mom.

 

viktor's cousin: YEA

 

viktor's cousin: AND WE HAVE FREE ICED TEA TOO

 

churro: eh idk i dont want 2 go to ur school

 

churro: i want to study abroad

 

churro: in [insert flashy school name here]

 

megane-chan: what the fuck kind of school is that

 

viktor's cousin: shame on you

 

viktor's cousin: oh well i guess ill just haunt you irl and in ur dreams

 

viktor's cousin: i will be wherever you are

 

viktor's cousin: whispering

 

viktor's cousin: you should have come to weebratorizawa

 

save mom: is it weird that i thought you'd say "hey lil mama let me whisper in your ear"

 

viktor's cousin: wtf yes??

 

churro: ....

 

churro: what will happen if i get accepted ?

 

megane-chan: study? 

 

churro: and then????

 

megane-chan: and then study again?

 

churro: what if I'm looking for a peaceful plce 2 study

 

save mom: i don't like where this what if story is going.

 

churro: and go inside this room and

 

save mom: sighs

 

churro: and i see a bunch of hot gays

 

save mom: *guys

 

churro: *gays

 

churro: and i accidentally brake a vase?

 

save mom: that'S IT IM OUT.

 

_save mom left the group chat_

viktor's cousin: oH about that

 

viktor's cousin: we hav a host club so feel free to do that ;)

_viktor's cousin added save mom to the group chat_

save mom: this is weebratorizawa not ouran.

 

save mom: fuck you.

 

  
_save mom changed their nickname to triggered_ mom

 

churro: i remember saying what if

 

churro: bESIDES IM NOT EVEN SURE YET FFS WHY R U MAD

 

triggered mom: I'M MAD BECAUSE YOU MENTIONED _THAT ONE ANIME I LOVE SO MUCH BUT HATE SO MUCH BECAUSE THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A SECOND SEASON IN IT HA-HA._

triggered mom: AND I ALREADY GOT OVER MY PAIN AND SADNESS BECAUSE I FORGOT ALL ABOUT  _THAT_ ANIME.

 

churro: OMFG IM SO SORYY MOTHER

 

churro: i WONT DO IT AGAIN

 

triggered mom: good because I really want to disown you right now.

 

viktor's cousin: MOMMY NO

 

viktor's cousin: o shitwaddup i jus

 

viktor's cousin: fuck

 

viktor's cousin: i just mom-cheated on yaku-san

 

viktor's cousin: shit

 

viktor's cousin: PLS DON TELL ANYONE PLSPLSPLSP

 

churro: hm

 

churro: i don't know, lev

 

churro: im kind of itching to tell your precious yaku-san, yknow?

 

viktor's cousin: pls dont ill do anythign

 

triggered mom: Tell him to do the nekoma thing

 

viktor's cousin: NO ANYTHING BUT THT PLS KURROO-SNEFAI

 

churro: didn't karasuno's couch mention something about nekoma and their recieves?

 

triggered mom: couches talk?

 

megane-chan: WOW! 

 

churro: *coach

 

churro: hey lev how does a hundred recieves sound like?

 

viktor's cousin: it sounds like hell

 

churro: well yiu did say youd do anythinf right???

 

viktor's cousin: YeS BUT PLS NOT RECIEVES PLS

 

churro: fine

 

churro: i guess I'll just tell yaku...

 

churro: about your secret crush on him ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

viktor's cousin: IM GONNA DO A HUBDRED RECIEVES I PRIMROSE.

 

megane-chan: I primrose.

 

viktor's cousin: PROMISE.

 

churro: contract has been signed

 

 

 

churro: screenshotted your vow and sent to everyone in neckoma

 

churro: and i wont tell anyone 

 

viktor's cousin: kill me pls

 

triggered mom: nah son you gotta live

 

megane-chan: survive your journey, little brother.

 

churro: u heard em

 

[10:09am]

 

kagehina: HWAT THE FUVKC

 

[10:21am]

 

kagehina: what tHE HELL

 

[10:33am]

 

kagehina: ?@<SW.1/,DEQ,MF;KFGJ2O4UT802U4TY8913GHRJQGRHGORQOEFENFUIhiuwehiuw

 

[10:44am]

 

kagehina: WHAT THE FUC K GUYS

 

[11:16am] 

 

churro: lol did u search it

 

kagehina: YES>!>>!?"!?!!?!??!

 

kagehina: WHY DO PEOPL SHP ME WITG KAGAYHOMO?????????????????????????

 

kagehina: WH Y ???@?@???@?!??!?!?!?

 

kagehina: IM FREAKIGN OUT HERE???!??!!?!?

 

kagehina: AND WTF ARE ALL THESE DOUJINSHI;S?!?!???!??!!?

 

kagehina: AND FANDFICTIOSN?!?!??!?!!??!???!?!

 

kagehina: W HY?!?!?!?!?!?!??!??!?!?!??!?!?!!??!?!!??!!

 

churro:  bro chill 

 

emo mode: ^am i supposed 2 be jelly that u jsut called my son "BRO" in front of me,ur "brO"???

 

churro: blame the fandom lmao

 

kagehina: then Y DO U NAME ME KAGEHINEA>!>>!?!?!?!???

 

_kagehina changed their nickname to hinata_

_emo mode changed hinata's nickname to lil baby_

lil baby: wtf

 

lil baby: y lil bab??/

 

lil baby: i'm liek

 

lil baby: the oldest of the first years?????????

 

churro: it's all about the appearance, lil baby.

 

lil baby: ew

 

lil baby: ur gross

 

churro: grossly handsome 

 

lil baby: grossly disgusting**

 

megane-chan: For some reason, my hate level for hinata is decreasing.

 

lil baby: WTF YPU HAVE A HSTE LEVEL FOR _**ME**_  ?!???!??!?

 

lil baby: WHY?????

 

megane-chan: Nvm it increased again.

 

viktor's cousin: hi

 

megane-chan: O fuck the weeb has arrived 

 

viktor's cousin: asufhjjkdhwjk and i was going 2 tell u abt the latest yuri on ice episode =_=

 

megane-chan: No thx

 

_megane-chan has left the group chat_

_lil baby has left the group chat_

churro: no anime here pls

 

_churro has left the group chat_

emo mode: idk y they dont liek anime but i dont wanna b left alone

 

_emo mode has left the group chat_

viktor's cousin: WHY?!??!??!??!??

 

triggered mom: Have you seen Chris's eyelashes

 

viktor's cousin: holy shit yes

 

viktor's cousin: eyelash goals

 

triggered mom: I want them

 

viktor's cousin: same

 

triggered mom: I want to rip them out of his eyes and use them for myself

 

viktor's cousin: ...

 

viktor's cousin: ok i admit i like his eyelasehs but i dont want 2 do that

 

triggered mom: Shame.

 

viktor's cousin: he has a nice ass tho

 

triggered mom: YES

 

triggered: I want to touch it

 

viktor's cousin: same

 

viktor's cousin: it's sin

 

triggered mom: 100% sin

 

viktor's cousin: it's r18

 

viktor's cousin: i almost came ok

 

triggered mom: Holy fuck what

 

viktor's cousin: IM SORRY??@?@?????????/ IT WAS JUST TOO MUHC????

 

triggered mom: OK OK I GET IT.

 

triggered mom: Oh well.

 

triggered mom: His sex appeal level is over a thousand anyway

 

viktor's cousin: lol we r so thirsty

 

triggered mom: There's nothing we can do about it though.

 

viktor's cousin: lol

 

[2:22pm]

 

_triggered mom added emo mode, megane-chan, churro, and lil baby to the group chat_

triggered mom: Please dont scroll up.

 

megane-chan: too late and ew ew ew wtf

 

churro: wow I shouldnt have scrolled up

 

churro: i should've obeyed my mom

 

churro: holy shit

 

churro: omfg

 

triggered mom: I shouldn't have added you guys back.

 

emo mode: I

 

emo mode: akaashi

 

emo mode: u like guys with eyelashes and a nice butt???

 

triggered mom: No

 

triggered mom: I don't. I swear.

 

churro: idk man judging from ur convo w lev a while ago, u seem like you do ha

 

triggered mom: No, that was just my fanboy instinct.

 

churro: but doesnt my brokuto have a p nice ass tho? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

triggered mom: He does?

 

churro: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

triggered mom: I'm not the type of person who stares at other people's asses so i dont know.

 

triggered mom: And I don't stare at bokuto-san's ass like ew why would I

 

_triggered mom has left the group chat_

 

churro: AKAASHI KEIJI HAS BEEN EXPOSED

 

churro: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

emo mode: AKAAAAAAAAASHEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHAT

 

megane-chan: ew

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wrote this instead of stu(dying) bc studies what are studies


	4. i beelev in you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *wakes up in the morning and the first thing i do is post this chapter*

 

 

 

 

 

[10:11pm]

 

emo mode: it's 10:10 make a wish!!!

 

emo mode: OH WAIT NVM ITS 10:11

 

emo mode: whyy am i always late for evrytign...

 

emo mode: i failed...

 

churro: bro no

 

emo mode: im a faiLURE

 

churro: no bro you're not

 

emo mode: no bro i am

 

emo mode: i dont deserve to BE ALIVE

 

emo mode: :'(

 

 

megane-chan: I thought you were talking about time?

 

 

churro: bro if you're a failure then

 

churro: youre the best failure ♡

 

emo mode: ....

 

emo mode: tHAT DOESNT MAKE ME FEEL BETTER

 

emo mode: IM STILL A FAILURE

 

churro: BRO NO

 

churro: YOU'RE NOT A FAILURE THO

 

churro: yOU WOULDNT BE ONE OF THE TOP 5 ACES IF YOU WERE A FAILURE

 

emo mode: bUT IM NOT TOP 3 WHICH MEANS I STILL AM A KIND OF FAILURE

 

megane-chan: Ya'll need mommy

 

_megane-chan added triggered mom to the group chat_

 

triggered mom: what did bokuto-san do this time

 

churro: he's being u-kno-what again

 

triggered mom: audible sigh

 

triggered  mom: bokuto-san you're not a failure.

 

triggered mom: if everyone was a failure then you'd be the best failure ❤️

 

megane-chan: What

 

churro: omfg akaashi used a hEART

 

churro: and wait isnt that what i just said

 

emo mode: ...

 

emo mode: aaaaKAAAAAASSSSGHGEEEEEEE

 

triggered mom: you're welcome, fam.

 

[12:19am]

 

viktor's cousin: hi guys im tired

 

churro: hi tired im resting

 

triggered mom: Oh. Why

 

churro: ;)))))))

 

viktor's cousin: i dont get it?????

 

churro: if u dont get it how tf r u able to get mystery animes

 

viktor's cousin: bc spoilers and skipping epis-

 

viktor's cousin: nvm

 

megane-chan: kindly shut up and sleep

 

churro: okokok you're highness *lenny face*

 

[9:51pm]

 

viktor's cousin: fuck the new yoi episode

 

triggered mom: ...you want to fuck the new yoi episode..?

 

viktor's cousin: wHAT NO

 

viktor's cousin: I MEANT THE NEW EPISODE CAUGHT ME IN THE FEELS

 

viktor's cousin: sdkflsdjgkjsf

 

viktor's cousin: MAH HART MHA SOLE

 

_megane-chan has left the group chat_

_viktor's cousin added megane-chan to the group chat_

 

megane-chan: Weeb alert weoweoweoweoweowewewewoeweoweoweweoweoeweo weeb incoming run away abort abort

 

_megane-chan has left the group chat_

_viktor's cousin added megane-chan to the group chat_

viktor's cousin: tsukki im doing this for your sake!!

 

megane-chan: Aww, thank you for trying so hard to kill me ❤️

 

lil baby: wait! ∑('＝'；) I TRIED WATCHING IT!!!

 

viktor's cousin: HHHIIINNNAAATTAAAAAAA DDAAAIIISSSUUUKKIIII ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ 

 

lil baby: the Christophe Guacamole guy scares me Σ(ﾟдﾟ;)∑

 

megane-chan: Ah, yes. Christophe Guacamole

lil baby: idk how to spell his name hihi oops

 

viktor's cousin: what's guacamole??????????

 

megane-chan: I can't this is killing me I can't.

 

lil baby: BUT seriously!1 he;s creepy!! Σ(ﾟдﾟ;)∑;

 

triggered mom: hinata...,,,,,,,, one day, you'll understand.....,,,

 

lil baby: akaash-san idont get it/?? wdym

 

triggered mom: nothing. i feel so attacked because you said you don't like Chris

 

lil baby: wha---??!?? iM SO SORRY!!!! but i didnt stab you???? or shoot??? what did i doooo????! Σ(ﾟдﾟ;)∑;

 

lil baby: i nearly forgot!

 

triggered mom: what. is. it. this. time?

 

lil baby: my favorite character is the pick shit guy he's cute hihihihihi o3o

 

viktor's cousin: o-ohh do you mean,,, pichit,,,?

 

triggered mom:  _pick shit._

 

lil baby: aaah yes him!! he's so good!

 

lil baby: he looks kind of like goshiki and kags!!!

 

viktor's cousin: YE

 

lil baby: also, the georgi poopbitch guy looks so cringey ehhhh

 

triggered mom: georgi _poopbitch._

megane-chan: Lmfao hinata boke

 

viktor's cousin: uuuuhhh its popovich.... not poopbitch,,,,,, uhh,,,

 

lil baby: o-oh!!! AAAHH IM SO SORRY I KEEP MISPELLING EBERYTFHING

 

megane-chan: Well, you indeed mispelled "everything"

 

lil baby: wwwhhhaaa?????????

 

megane-chan: i give up on humanity

 

triggered mom: Welcome to the club.

 

[4:45pm]

 

emo mode: brrrrooooo

 

 

churro: brrrrooooo what is it?

 

emo mode: im so in love bro ashjshymnplkjgsahsgsh

 

churro: oh? describe you're new-found love ( ͡ ° ͜ ʖ ͡ ° )

 

emo mode: hhhmmmmmm

 

 

emo mode: well he has dark, messy hair and gorgeous eyes that make me mELT in my chair and hIS VOICE is so fucking heavenly i cant i cant i cant bro im

 

churro: aww thank you i love you too but not in that way ❤️

 

emo mode: im talking about akaashi you uncultured swine

 

churro: what

 

megane-chan: And here, ladies and gentlemen, we witness Kuroo Tetsurou being memed.

 

megane-chan: Also, do you realize that you're saying this in a group chat with Akaashi-san?

 

churro: i cant fuvkign beelev

 

viktor's cousin: bee what

 

churro: mY oWN bRO jUST mEMED mE???

 

churro: ARE YOU SEEING THIS????

 

megane-chan: Yes we are

 

churro: im not sure if i should be offended or proud

 

emo mode: what??? y would u bee offended???? u should bee proud of me!1

 

megane-chan: Wtf why bee puns.

 

emo mode: oH i was rewatching the bee movie again heheheheehheheh

 

emo mode: i cant get over it

 

emo mode: i have so much bee puns to use hehheh

 

emo mode: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

 

churro: bro i love you but please stop using my dearest lenny face 

 

churro: only i can use it in this chat

 

megane-chan: You don't even own it.

 

emo mode: shhhshshhsh i do wut i want bro

 

emo mode: that means i can watch bee movies all day nyeheheh

 

 

triggered mom: bokuto-san, you've watched it 28 times already.

 

emo mode: im trying to memorise it hehehehheh

 

churro: lol akaashi scroll up a bit

 

triggered mom: no thanks i don't want to see what kind of idiocy-

 

triggered mom: wait-

 

triggered mom: bokuto-san what 

 

emo mode: o

 

emo mode: UUUUHHHMMMM

 

emo mode: I LIKE FOOD!!!

 

 

emo mode: OH THE BEE MOVIE LOOKS LIKE A NICE MOVIE MAYBE I SHOULD WATCH IT BECAUSE I HAVENT HAHAHAHHAHA BYE GUYS

 

_emo mode has left the group chat_

 

churro: im guessing you read it?

 

triggered mom: ah yeah

 

churro: aaaand? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

 

triggered mom: well shit I

 

triggered mom: I'm gonna go talk to him

 

churro: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) matchmaker kuroo is the best

 

megane-chan: ew

 

churro: oho ho ho hello tsukki ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

 

_megane-chan has left the group chat_

lil baby: i dont get it??

 

churro: ahhh, shrimpy. so young, so pure, so innocent.... 

 

lil baby: i topped kageyama last night though?

 

churro: what

 

lil baby: i topped kageyama last night????

 

churro: HINATA WHAT

 

churro: YOU TOPPED KAGEYAMA???????????

 

lil baby: yeahhh???????

 

lil baby: why?????

 

churro: okok im sorry let me rephrase what i said earlier

 

churro: ahhh, shrimpy. so young, you still have alot to learn in this life.

 

churro: and you're NOT pure and innocent holy crap i cant

 

lil baby: im only 2 years younger than you tho????

 

churro: why do u keep putting question marks????

 

lil baby: idk i just do????

 

churro: ok???

 

lil baby: okay?????

 

churro: ?????

 

lil baby: ?????

 

_churro added megane-chan to the group chat_

churro: TSUKKI

 

churro: SCROLL UP

 

megane-chan: ew wtf

 

churro: I KNOWWWW

 

megane-chan: Oh god what did I do to deserve this.

 

megane-chan: kms

 

megane-chan: FUCK now i can't get the image out of my head

 

lil baby: ?????

 

megane-chan: Hinata Shouyo hate level: 800

 

megane-chan: fml

 

megane-chan: they say 70% of you is H₂O

 

megane-chan: well the other 30& of me WANTS₂DIE

 

churro: HAHA RIP IN PEACE TSUKKI

 

megane-chan: Yes, rest in peace in peace, Tsukki.

 

viktor's cousin: what

 

lil baby: yeah same lev 

 

viktor's cousin: what is H₂O ?

 

megane-chan: Are you fucjkgin serious

 

churro: shame

 

churro: shame on you haiba lev the 5th 

 

viktor's cousin: haiba lev the 5th????

 

viktor's cousin: soo what is an h2o??

 

churro: <http://www.all-water.org/Chemistry.html>

 

viktor's cousin: thank you, senpai.

 

churro: yw. now will you do recieves for your senpai? ;)))))

 

viktor's cousin: nvm i take it back

 

lil baby: IM STILL CONFUSED WAIIIITTTT

 

megane-chan: bye

 

lil baby: WHAAAAAATTTT

 

viktor's cousin: HINATA let's be confused together

 

lil baby: ossu!!

 

lil baby: ...

 

viktor's cousin: ...

 

lil baby: so uh what now

 

viktor's cousin: idk

 

viktor's cousin: you wanna...,,,

 

viktor's cousin: uh

 

lil baby: uhhh

 

viktor's cousin: so do you like bread

 

lil baby: ???why???? bread is ok i guess

 

viktor's cousin: cool.

 

lil baby: yeah.

 

viktor's cousin: ...

 

lil baby: ...

 

viktor's cousin: i gtg

 

lil baby: yeah ok bye

 

viktor's cousin: bye

 

[11:59pm]

 

churro: FUCK I JUST REALISED IT'S mY BIRTHDAY 

 

[12:00am]

 

churro: FUCK I'M TOO LATE

 

churro: AND NONE OF YOU EVEN GREETED ME W H Y

 

megane-chan: I guess you're not the only one who forgot, then.

 

churro: YOU WOUND ME


	5. its ok kuroo stay strong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> basically, kuroo gets attacked, lev is disrespectful, akaashi needs new memes for 2017, hinata doesnt know how to take care of babies/what a meme is, tsukishima is the only sane one, and bokuto is ded until the last part

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED THIS WHOOPS

[10:02pm]

lil baby: i keep accidentally writing "2016" on my diary even though it's already 2017

churro: why do u have a diary

megane-chan: What even do you write on your diary

lil baby: i rant abt how mean u are and how cool my senpais are and how cute yams is and how im glad im not the shortest one on the team and that ennoshita needs a break and how i can spice up my sex life w kag

megane-chan: I wish I didn't ask.

churro: turns out the most innocent one here was actually the most not-innocent one

churro: unlike me. i havent even done it w/ someone bc i end up getting scared bc whst if i hurt them or they dont like it??????!

lil baby: BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!!!!: kuroo-san the sex god is not actually a sex god

megane-chan: Gasps.

lil baby: (^put more feeling tsukki)

megane-chan: Ha u fucken virgin

lil baby: wait tsukishima i got this

_lil baby changed churro's nickame to untouched_

untouched: i shouldnt have said that

untouched: now i feel so attacked

_triggered mom changed untouched's nickname to churro_

triggered mom: keep it pg-9, kids.

megane-chan: Why 9 though

lil baby: ur not my mom

lil baby: .....,,

lil baby: wait.

triggered mom: that's right, son

[8:38pm]

churro: thank u for shielding me

triggered mom: i shield everyone in this chat

churro: and i thought i was special :(

triggered mom: well you are eSPECIALly a dork

churro: thanks for the compliment :(

triggered mom: i need a new set of memes.

churro: u know, im kinda surprised u know what a meme is

churro: (ALSO HOW COULD YOU CHANGE THE TOPIC HHNFHDHFHGSDJ)

triggered mom: i am offended. (i do what i want)

triggered mom: i shouldn't have saved your sorry ass/untouched lips if this is how you act towards me.

churro: im sorry mother i accidentally said that bc u called me a dork and 

lil baby: what is a meme?

megane-chan: Kys

triggered mom: something that is addicting yet destructive.

triggered mom: many people die from it

triggered mom: it ruined my life.

churro: damn

lil baby: oh! So it's a drug,,?

megane-chan: Wow

churro: oH HI TSUKKI

megane-chan: Bye

triggered mom: just google it hinata

triggered mom: wait nvm dont google it hinata

churro: u know what else surprises me?

churro: it surprises me that u dont use proper capitalization and punctuation and that you also use shortcuts

churro: unlike tsukki here

megane-chan: It's Tsukki, bitch

churro: *britney

megane-chan: *Tsukki 

triggered mom: i lose my patience sometimes

churro: then how do you deal w bokuto

triggered mom: it's called,.,

triggered mom: i forgot what it was called

triggered mom:  but i DO drown myself in buckets of patience 

lil baby: WAIT guys I need help.

viktor's cousin: ????What's wrpng????? Whta hsppenef?????,,?,?

megane-chan: Your spelling is what's wrong.

viktor's cousin: Shhh babe it's not about me it's about you and i did that on purpose kinda

megane-chan: Ew did you just call me babe. And wtf are you saying

lil baby: GUYYYSSSS!!!!!

viktor's cousin: oh yea

viktor's cousin: What happened?

lil baby: idk how to handle hyper babies

lil baby: or a hyper baby

lil baby: BUT YA I NEED HELP!!! HOW DO I TAKE CARE OF A HYPER BABY???? THAT WONT STOP TOUCHING EVERYTHING???

viktor's cousin: arent all babies like that?

megane-chan: No wonder you can't handle yourself.

lil baby: what????????,,?????????/?

megane-chan: Just throw it out the window.

lil baby: ,,,,,

lil baby: tsukishima that's violence!!!

megane-chan: Well shit man you asked me

lil baby: lev!!!!

viktor's cousin: lololol hinata just deal w it

viktor's cousin: iM KIDDING THO,,, just,,,,, make her sleep?? XD

megane-chan: Yea! xDXDxDXD lmao kms XD! XD

triggered mom: people still use 'XD'?

lil baby: tsukishima you scare me

lil baby: but ok thx lev!!!!!!! I'll just sing her to sleep!!

megane-chan: She won't be able to sleep with a voice like yours lmao

lil baby: r00d tsukishima!! I have a nice voice!!!

viktor's cousin: yw! I used to babysit so i know!

viktor's cousin: but now i work in a convenience store because they say anime protagonists work in convenience stores!! who knows?! i might be the next protag!!!!

megane-chan: Thanks for the info. I know where to not work at now.

[12:19am]

triggered mom: lowkey jealous of lev

[2:00am]

lil baby: u and lev sure like anime, huh!!! maybe i should try watching some!!

[2:47am]

megane-chan: Lmao I call it Chinese cartoons to piss everyone off

[3:28am]

viktor's cousin: shut up kei

churro: it's too early for this.

viktor's cousin: for what

churro: for swear words and chinese cartoons

churro: *anime

viktor's cousin: listen.

viktor's cousin: you're making me angry.

churro: lol don't disrespect your captain or i'll make you run 3x laps and release the yaku morisuke from his cage

megane-chan: Why on earth is he inside a cage?

viktor's cousin: shut up pussyfucker

churro: ex cu se me

triggered mom: nice kill

churro: i feel so attacked and i only came here to hve a good time

triggered mom: *i came here to have a good time and im honestly feeling so attacked right now

viktor's cousin: pussyfucker

_churro has left the group chat_

viktor's cousin: oh hes gone

viktor's cousin: wait.

viktor's cousin: shit i just disrespected mY CAPTAIN IM GONNA DIE

lil baby: ooooooooooo the chat master left his domain

lil baby: what a gr9 plot twist ehe

megane-chan: You're gross.

lil baby: well m8 ur a meme

lil baby: (hhehehehe i finally know what a meme is!)

triggered mom: go to sleep.

lil baby: yes mom.

megane-chan: Okay.

[9:20pm]

megane-chan: I just realized that kuroo and bokuto aren't here.

triggered mom: "churro: aww tsukki you miss us??? ;)"

megane-chan: No.

triggered mom: "emo mode: :(( u dont miss us?????"

megane-chan: No.

megane-chan: Akaashi-san please don't. It's peaceful right now.

megane-chan: I mean, hinata isn't here.

megane-chan: And Lev is probably reading gay Japanese comics right now.

triggered mom: *yaoi

triggered mom: yeah but i'm evil so

_triggered mom added emo mode and churro to the group chat_

megane-chan: Wtf

emo mode: WE'RE BACK!!!!

triggered mom: tsukishima requested you two be added back

churro: aww tsukki you missed us??? ;)))

megane-chan: No. What the fuck

emo mode: so u didnt??? :'(

megane-chan: No. I

_megane-chan changed triggered mom 's nickname to traitor_

megane-chan: I shouldn't have trusted you

traitor: do not trust, you will rust

megane-chan: I give up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;)


End file.
